What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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