You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
