the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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