Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
