What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
