I hate your face
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
