some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
