There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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