And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
