The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
