So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
