Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
