I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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