Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
