I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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