Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
