Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
