I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
