You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The air was thick with penises
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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