11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
