He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
