There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
