When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
