I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
