Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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