Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
