No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
