do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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