Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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