Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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