Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
