My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
My dick has a subreddit
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize