I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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