guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
The best revenge is premature balding
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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