i'm signing you up for texting rehab
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He shit in the fireplace
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
