Please, let me fuck your mom
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Is it because I queefed?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
