Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
NoShamevember. You game?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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