yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
