Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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