We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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