You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
