I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
