We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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