nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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