VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
