yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
