literally had 100 drinks last night.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
