I have demons in me.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
