question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
