so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
