ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize