Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
