yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
