Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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