wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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