When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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