Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
