Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
