we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
We talked him into tasing himself.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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