have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
