Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
My brain says no but my pants say off.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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