well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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