I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
