what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Randomize
