Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
